


The Glaring Grows

by greeneggs101



Series: Catnip Tales [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: And there are dogs now, Bilbo/Thorin is very light, Cat!AU, Gandalf is still owned by cats, Gen, Protective Thorin, They are cats so there certainly isn't any detail, Though they let him think he owns them, Unusual cat behavior, Which causes some shenanigans, i think, possibly unusual dog behavior, though now it's not limited to cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 21:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4278975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneggs101/pseuds/greeneggs101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which many things happen, including dog visits, kitten-napping, and Gandalf's general questioning of his life choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Glaring Grows

**Author's Note:**

> For those who have read the first story, it should be noted that I changed Thrandiul and Legolas's breed to Afghan Hounds, though Radagast keeps Legolas's hair shorter in the summer. Tauriel is an mix of mostly Irish setter and some Golden Retriever. 
> 
> Also there is more unusual cat behavior, though I still remain unconvinced that "unusual" cat behavior is a real thing. Also some unexpected dog behavior.

“Nori! Please, get down from there.” Gandalf sighed, feeling like this was probably not going to be the last time he asked the red-haired cat to do so.

Nori, naturally ignored him. He was perched in the space between the top of the kitchen cabinets and the ceiling, looking far too pleased with himself. Gandalf made a mental note to check the place later for any “prizes” Nori managed to accumulate. The cat would often sneak off and hide anything he found interesting, from cat toys, to Gandalf’s class ring, to the bits of string left over from Gandalf’s knitting projects. He was also the cat who managed to leap and balance onto the most unusual places. (Gandalf had yet to figure out how he managed to not only balance, but nap on the top edge of the bedroom door.) 

Ori had now wandered over and was pawing at the cabinets, trying to get up to Nori’s perch. Gandalf watched as the young, just barely adult cat leap from the floor to the nearby chair, then onto the countertop, before stopping to investigate this new terrain.

There was a loud yowl at his feet and Gandalf looked down to see Dori, the long suffering eldest brother of Ori and Nori glaring at the cat on the cabinets. A thump informed Gandalf that Nori had relinquished his temporary hold over the cabinet tops to instead help Ori figure out how to get off the countertops. 

Gandalf left Dori to supervise and instead went around to inspect how his other feline companions were adjusting to their new living space. 

The house on the edge of town was within walking distance to Radagast’s home, though Gandalf would have to drive a bit farther to work. The backyard was fenced in, and though Gandalf knew that several of his cats would be able to jump over the fence, it did provide a bit of an enclosed area for the cats to explore without much threat from surrounding wolves and raccoons. 

A shuffling and rustle of paper from the bedroom told Gandalf that Fili and Kili had gotten into the boxes again to nestle among the paper. A louder rustle informed him that Thorin had jumped in to join them. 

Thorin had recovered from his broken leg easily, especially as Bilbo refused to let the older cat do too much too soon. When he wasn’t entertaining Thorin in the dog kennel Gandalf had borrowed, he was keeping Fili and Kili from bothering the older cat. Gandalf still wasn’t sure how, exactly, Bilbo managed to open and shut the door to the dog kennel, as he kept it locked when he wasn’t in the room, but most days when he had returned from work, both Thorin and Bilbo were curled up on the blankets in the kennel and Fili and Kili were looking forlorn at the older cats. 

Gandalf headed towards the bedroom, Balin and Dwalin trailing behind. 

Fili and Kili were indeed play fighting amongst the paper in the box. Gandalf had already removed the knickknacks so they weren’t in danger of the rambunctious cats. Thorin was supervising while Bilbo looked in from his perch on the bed. 

Gandalf sighed as the fighting became more vicious, both cat’s yowling. “Don’t make me upturn the box over again!” As the kittens grew older, their fighting also became more rambunctious, though Gandalf knew neither would hurt the other. Thorin was trying to break up the fight, though it wasn’t until Bilbo leapt in gracefully, and bopped both cats on the nose. 

Fili and Kili instantly quiet down. 

Gandalf let out another long sigh, echoed by the sound he had come to associate as Bilbo’s own sigh of reluctant resignation.

He started to arrange the books he had left on the bed onto the shelves that lined the wall when a knock sounded at the front door. 

Gandalf looked at the time and remembered that his friend Radagast had agreed to stop by to pick up the dog kennel he had lent Gandalf weeks ago. 

He walked to the door, slipping by Dwalin and Balin on patrol along the bedroom door, then past Bombur, Bofur and Bifur curled up in a sunny spot by the window. From the noises in the kitchen, Dori and Nori were still “discussing” appropriate models of behavior for Ori. He had no idea where Gloin and Oin were. 

He opened the door, and found that Radagast was not alone. With him were two large dogs, one a that looked like a afghan hound, with long blond hair around the ears but shorter blond hair everywhere else. The other dog currently nosing Radagast’s hand for treats was some sort of irish setter mix.Both were pawing the ground and yipping excitedly, probably smelling the cats in side.

“I’m sorry Gandalf, but they wouldn’t stay in the yard when I left.”

Gandalf glanced nervously behind him at the cats that had gathered to investigate the sounds. Thorin and Dwalin hissed at the sight of the dogs, but the others looked curious if a little weary. Bilbo, surprisingly, was the boldest of them all, walking right up to the dogs before twining himself between Gandalf’s legs as if to say “My human, go get your own.” 

One of the dogs, the yellow haired one leaned down to sniff Bilbo, who allowed it to a point before swiping a paw in warning. The dog backed off, then looked at the other cats.

There was maybe a moment or two of peace before all hell broke loose. The dogs raced inside, scattering cats in their wake as they attempted to chase them down. 

“Oh dear.” Radagast mumbled before running in to attempt to control his dogs. “Legolas! Tauriel! You stop that right now!”

The next few minutes were quite hectic. Though, surprisingly, most of it consisted of following the dogs as they herded up the cats. Gandalf was fairly certain cats were not meant to be herded, and by the sounds of it, his cats were agreeing with that thought. However, it appeared that pets, recently, were doing away with the normal laws of nature (or at least the normal laws of cat videos) and Legolas, the blond dog Gandalf had learned, was currently staring down 10 pairs of cat eyes glaring up at him from where he had them cornered. Thorin was in front of the rest, back arched and letting out several loud hisses, claws ready for a fight at the slightest provocation. 

Gandalf did a quick cat count, and found that outside of Oin and Gloin, who were still missing, Bilbo and Kili were also not part of the current glaring of cats. Gandalf looked around (and up) and finally spotted Bilbo, who had surprisingly managed to climb one of the long curtains in front of the sliding glass door in the living room and was now hanging on while observing the situation below. 

Radagast grabbed a hold of Legolas and pulled him away from the cats, which caused most of them to scatter and hide. Only Thorin remained, glaring at the blond dog who was now firmly captured in Radagast’s grip. 

Gandalf’s friend was blushing in embarrassment, muttering something about Legolas usually being a very calm dog who was weary of strangers, but generally not prone to the scene he and Tauriel had just caused.

Speaking of the irish setter, Gandalf realized that he was still missing Kili. Hoping to find that Kili had found a place to hide and Tauriel was just sniffing around, he began to search the back rooms for them. 

He was heading towards the bathroom when he spotted them in the hallway leading towards the guest bedroom.

Both cat and dog were still as statues as Kili looked up at the taller animal, tiny compared to the large long haired dog. 

Slowly, Gandalf crept closer as to try to pull the cat away when Kili moved first. 

The young cat padded up to the dog before riding on his hind legs and putting his front paws on her chest. Then he leaned up his little head and stuck out his tiny tongue...

and began to groom the red haired dog. 

Gandalf could only watch in shock as the irish setter looked at the young cat in what Gandalf could only describe as amusement, before laying down so the cat would have an easier reach. 

Fili had come to investigate and tacked his brother to the ground when he found them. Kili just grumbled and shoved his brother off before resuming his task. Fili just glanced between the dog and his brother before sitting against the wall to observe the interaction. 

Gandalf just rolled his eyes before moving back into the sitting area. “Tauriel’s fine Radagast, and I think the others have hidden so you can ease up on Legolas as long as he doesn’t run off again.” Gandalf himself moved up to where Bilbo was still clutching the curtains. Gently detaching the cat’s claws, he set the smaller cat down next to Thorin, who seemed to immediately relax in the other’s presence. Immediately the two ran off, probably to also find someplace to hide till the dogs were gone. 

Radagast cautiously let go of the blond dog, and Legolas moved slower than before, sniffing at the places the cats were hiding before curling up near the back door. 

“I think I put the crate in the back room, let me go check!” Gandalf called, heading back towards the hallway. Sidestepping Fili, Kili, Tauriel, and a very disgruntled Thorin who had come to investigate after getting Bilbo to safety, Gandalf reached the room and began to look inside. He realized belatedly that he should have just kept the crate in the garage where it would have been easy to reach, but no, that would have been way too easy.

“Um, Gandalf... I think you have visitors outside?” Radagast’s voice came from his spot in the kitchen. 

Gandalf frowned, not expecting anyone, before realizing that Radagast may be talking about Oin and Gloin who had probably found someway to sneak outside at some point before the ruckus started. Gandalf returned to the back door.

And stopped.

While Oin was yowling loudly, expecting to be let in immediately, Gloin was strangely silent. Apparently he didn’t want to let go of the furry thing in his mouth. 

Gandalf stepped closer, expecting maybe an impossibly large mouse, or perhaps some other small rodent. 

But no.

It was a kitten.

Where did these cats come from?! Do they spontaneously multiply?! 

For the kitten had red hair just like Gloin’s. As Gandalf opened the door, he observed as the tiny dark eyes opened wearily to observe the new location. It looked old enough to be away from its mother, but not nearly old enough to be anything other than a young kitten. The grey haired man briefly wondered what to do. He didn’t really have the time, patience, or finances, for another cat.

The kitten squeaked out a meow though, and Gandalf knew that his heart was lost. 

Gloin had taken the kitten on to the cushion Gandalf had bought of all of the cats a few weeks ago, starting to groom the short haired ginger fuzzball. 

Gandalf spotted Thorin, who had apparently gotten bored with Kili’s fascination with the Tauriel, giving Gloin and the kitten what appeared to be a thoughtful look. “Don’t you even think about it!” Gandalf warned, not wanting his other cats to get the idea to start spontaneously reproducing. 

Thorin gave him another unimpressed look before sauntering over to Bilbo, who was lounging on the couch, and curling up around the smaller cat.

“I thought all of your cats were male?” Radagast questioned.

“They are.” Gandalf reassured, though mostly he was reassuring himself. 

“Oh. I guess this is what you meant by spontaneous cats appearing.”

“Yes. At least they were polite enough to try the door first this time around.”

The men chuckled and Gandalf invited Radagast to the backroom to search for the crate amongst discarded boxes.

As they walked passed Tauriel and Kili again, Tauriel moved, heading for the living room, Kili and Fili following close behind. 

Just as they finally located and began to move the heavy crate, there was a sharp yowl and scuffle in the front room. Both ran towards the sound but stopped suddenly at the sight.

Apparently Legolas, having seen Tauriel with her new friends, had decided that he needed one of his own, and so kitten-napped the new kitten, Gimli.

Again, not that Gandalf was necessarily naming the new kitten... but he also couldn’t go around calling it “the new kitten” either.

Gimli was apparently nonplussed with his new dog friend, who was making his own attempts at grooming, though his larger tongue was more successful in drenching the smaller animal. 

That wasn’t really what made Radagast and Gandalf stop, surprising as it was. It was the location Legolas had decided was convenient for himself to get acquainted with his new friend. 

Gandalf was pretty sure dogs weren’t supposed to have enough coordination to balance on the back of a couch with a small kitten curled up in its paws. But he was also pretty sure cat’s didn’t magically appear and spontaneously reproduce, so really, what does he know? 

“Leg---Legolas get down!” Radagast sputtered, his words failing him at the odd sight. Legolas ignored him. 

Gloin was hissing and yowling loudly, before jumping on the couch to try to get his new charge back. Legolas just ignored his attempts, and Gimli was comfortable curled up into the warmth of the dog, settling in for a long nap. 

Gandalf sighed. Radagast continued to berate his dog, who also continued to ignore him as he snuggled his new friend. Tauriel looked on with what Gandalf could again call amusement, Kili curled up between her paws, and Fili making a nest on her back, pawing at the hair gently till he was satisfied and settled. 

Gandalf felt one of the cats rub against his legs and he looked down, surprised to find Thorin, who rarely demonstrated this sort of affection. Gandalf obliged him, petting him gently between the ears. It looked as if Thorin was still giving Gimli an appraising look and Gandalf sighed. “Really, don’t even think about it. I know you like Bilbo, but the last thing you two need is to somehow procreate and have kittens.”

Thorin just gave a huff, glaring at Gandalf before ducking out from under the hand on his head and jumping up onto the couch cushion Bilbo had migrated to after the excitement settled. 

A few weeks later, however, Gandalf came home to find Bilbo, of all cats, giving a new kitten a tongue bath. 

Gandalf groaned, and thumped his head against the kitchen doorframe, heart already taken by the tiny little ears and tiny little paws, and tiny ball of curly black fuzz and bright blue eyes. Then the kitten squeaked and Gandalf knew all hope was lost of rehoming this kitten.

Thorin was, of course, ecstatic.

**Author's Note:**

> So this story came about after some stressful times at work, so of course, Cat!AU's continue to make the world a better place. Considering that my place of work is currently in a "transitioning and restructuring phase" it can probably be expected that more of this universe will come forth, if just for my sake. 
> 
> Prompts are certainly welcome!
> 
> (As are edit suggestions)


End file.
